I Found the Most Terrifying Thing Ever in My Closet this Morning

This morning, as I sleepily gazed into the rack of clothes in my closet, I glanced down to a heart-stopping surprise.

At first, I thought, "What is that; a stuffed animal or toy?" Then when I realized it was a spider, and my mind shifted to, "Did Jeremy (my husband) leave a faux spider out to scare me?" The sheer size of this thing couldn't actually be REAL. I mean, we are in Indiana. Then, it all became clear.

The silent, unmoving three to four inch arachnid staring at me was, in fact, real and alive. I almost passed out and I am NOT afraid of spiders. I usually capture them and release them but there was no way I was going to even attempt with this guy. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE.

Then, to my HORROR, by the time I came back to the closet, it was gone INTO MY CLOSET. Luckily, SWAT Pest will be at my home at 8 a.m. tomorrow but I have to sleep in my house with this beast tonight. If you are a praying person, please get on your knees. And, if you see me looking like I just rolled out of bed this week, it's because all my clothes are being held hostage by a gigantic wolf spider. So, there's that...