If You’re Bummed that You Live in Indiana, Just Remember We Don’t Have to Deal with Giant Snakes
One evening, I was mindlessly rolling through my Facebook newsfeed and came across a black and white photo of a snake. Eh... without any context, not terribly concerning, right? I mean, I've seen Anaconda. Terrifying? Yes. But not worth stopping my scroll.
It Was on Facebook So It Must Be True, Right?
And I would have kept scrolling but it was the page it came from that caught my attention. Unsolved Mysteries & Paranormal Activities is a page dedicated to showing users snippets of the world's greatest unsolved mysteries. You know - aliens, Bigfoot, and ghosts. Sometimes they throw in historical facts - like Tutankhamun had a club foot. Who knew?!
But listen, any good journalist (or just person in general) knows you never take a Facebook page's word for it. When something seems out-of-the-ordinary, it's probably a fabrication. A quick google search of King Tut led me to an article by The Independent that revealed King Tut not only had a club foot but his various genetic abnormalities were probably caused by him being the product of his parents being brother and sister. Ok gross. It went on to state that these abnormalities may have led to a weakened state that ultimately led to his death at only 19-years-old. Awe, how sad!
So, Back to This Snake
The Facebook status stated, "The picture below was taken in 1959 by a Belgian helicopter pilot, Col. Remy Van Lierde, while on patrol over the Congo. The snake he saw measured approximately 40 to 50 feet in length, dark brown/green with a white belly. It had triangle shaped jaws and a head about 3 ft x 2 ft. Experts have analyzed the pictures and have verified them as authentic."
Mmmm k. Authentic my foot. Do you know how long 45 feet would be? Think SCHOOL BUS. This snake is as long as a school bus.
How Big Is the Biggest Snake on Record?
According to the Natural History Museum, the current record-holding snake was a reticulated python found in 1912 and measured at 10 meters. Ten meters is a little over 32 feet - the size of a giraffe. (The average reticulated python is about 20 feet so there is a huge size difference.)
Is the Giant Congo Snake Real or Fake?
Cryptidz Wiki posted this about the image, "It is believed to be either a massively oversized African rock python, a new species of snake entirely, or perhaps a descendant of the giant Eocene snake Gigantophis."
Oh good Lord.
Unfortunately, when the team took a second pass to observe the snake further it "reared up" about 10 feet off the ground and they decided it wasn't worth wrecking the aircraft to get up close and personal with the serpent. I don't blame them.
So, though this snake was never measured in person, is it possible a 40-50 foot snake with a three-foot head was spotted in the Congo and was never seen again (by anyone who lived to tell about it?) Heck, why not? Secretariat's heart was over twice the size of an ordinary racehorse. I mean, the largest human was a guy named Robert Wadlow from Illinois. He was eight feet, 11 inches tall! He was almost double the size of my mamaw!
Now, Aren't You Glad You Live in the Midwest?
Whether this 50-foot snake is fact or fiction is really irrelevant to me. All that matters is that giant snakes make their home all the way across the world - far far away from the Midwest. Thankfully, they don't get much bigger than black rat snakes which come in at only 3-5 feet and are pretty much harmless. But can be terrifying if you just come across one in your yard.
So, the next time you think the tri-state is so boring just remember boring is good. Very good. You are only dodging 3-5-foot snakes - not 30-50 foot giant snakes.
We do have some sly serpents slithering through our streets. Here is a list of snakes watch for.