This is Why You Should NEVER Buy a Plant During a Total Eclipse of the Sun
As all of North and Central America prepares for the upcoming total eclipse of the sun, cities in the "path of totality" will get a very special treat. The sun's corona or "ring of fire" will be visible as the moon lines up in the very center of the sun.
Even those of us who will experience a partial eclipse will still be part of history as the next visible solar eclipse event in the United States won't happen until August 2044.
Be Prepared for the 2024 Solar Eclipse
Here at Townsquare Media, we have been compiling a guide with everything you need to know about the 2024 eclipse. Everything from the best places to view totality right here in Indiana and Kentucky, how to take the best pictures of the eclipse, and how to score a good camping spot. I even put together a pretty sweet playlist that is perfect for the celestial occasion. You can find it all here.
Why You Should NOT Purchase a Plant on April 8th, 2024
Lots of people will be swarming the area, so it will be a good idea to make sure you have the essentials. Drive-thru restaurants and gas stations will probably be packed, so get your gas and go grocery shopping ahead of time.
You'll also want to visit your favorite garden nursery before April 8th or wait until April 9th to pick out plants for your garden. History marks a pretty gruesome event that took place after a poor New York City floral shop employee made a purchase he would soon regret.
A young man named Seymour Kelborn was out shopping one beautiful day. It is important to note that a total eclipse of the sun also occurred while he piddled around the wholesale flower district. All of a sudden a strange and interesting plant appeared that caught his eye. So, he bought it and took it back to where he worked, Mushnik's Floral Shop in the Skid Row neighborhood. Business had been really slow, and he was hoping a unique-looking plant would entice shoppers to come in to buy flowers. Here's Seymour's version of what happened.
People flocked to the shop to see the unusual creature growing in a coffee tin. Things took a horrible turn when Seymour discovered the plant had a thirst for blood! Seymour did his best to keep the green monster happy, but soon it grew out of control. Ignoring his moral instincts, Seymour continued on a murderous rampage gathering fresh meat for his demanding diva named Audrey II.
Killing everyone he loved, Seymour's story ends in tragedy. This horrific incident is known as The Little Shop of Horrors. As the legend goes, Audrey II was only one of many alien creatures that made its way to Earth with the end goal of global domination. Who knows how many of them have populated since the late 20th century? There could be more hidden all over the world waiting for their next victims.
That is why you should NEVER buy a plant during a total eclipse of the sun. It could be a ravenous human-eating monster!
Disclaimer: This is definitely satire! If you have never seen the iconic Little Shop of Horrors starring Rick Moranis and Steve Martin, add that to your list of "must-see movies."