Move Over Kentucky Rain, Cicada Rain is Real and It’s Absolutely Horrific

Mamaw, This is an AI Video...

With AI running wild these days, you never really know what’s real anymore. My grandma was not thrilled with me the day I broke the news that the video she’d been sending around (of a violin-playing dog dueting with a piano-playing baby) was fake.

After months of clearly AI-generated clips, I finally had to say something. I’m still not sure what upset her more: the fact that an 8-month-old Beethoven prodigy with the perfect canine accompanist didn’t exist or that something so realistic could be completely fake.

Either way, we haven’t talked about it since. And she hasn’t sent me another video.

The Video I WISH Was AI - Cicada Rain

What I did run across the other day made me wish it was AI, because it was so incredibly, unbelievably disgusting.

It was a sunny day in the video, and the person filming was focused on a tree that had little streams of water shooting out of it. It looked like someone had rigged up tiny sprinklers on the branches. But they weren’t sprinklers...

When the camera zoomed in, it showed a cicada perched on the tree, and a stream of liquid coming out of its backside. The caption?

"CICADA RAIN Man, I’m glad these things are about gone… because I don’t think that’s rain."

O. M. G.

It’s pee. Cicada. PEE.
Excuse me while I throw up.

My Favorite Comments from the Video

Joe Amendolare:
Nice try, R. Kelly Tree.

Jasmine Faison-Daricaud:
If all the raindrops were lemon drops and gum drops...

Taylor Bourgeois:
For someone to know it’s “sugary” must mean someone sampled it.

Angelic Schatzi:
Golden showers from cicadas was not on my 2025 bingo card.

Jacob Buckey:
I’d be pissed!

Tiya Cee:
I’m just sitting here thinking about all the times I’ve been “honeydewed” on and thought it was just sprinkling.

Is The Cicada Rain Video Real?

Okay, fake, right? I’ve lived through plenty of cicada seasons and have never seen cicada rain. So, I Googled it, and sure enough, it’s real. Apparently, when cicadas urinate, they shoot it out like a Nerf Super Soaker.

According to a study by two Georgia Tech researchers titled “Unifying Fluidic Excretion Across Life From Cicadas to Elephants,” cicadas consume a crazy amount of liquid and can blast a pee stream up to 10 feet per second. TEN. FEET. PER. SECOND.

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How Do They Pee So Much?

Their favorite drink? Tree sap fluid. And they can process it at 300 times their body weight thanks to a bizarrely efficient digestive system. The article goes deep into the physics of how they can spray so far, so fast, and if you really want to geek out, you can read it here.

Why Do Cicadas Shoot a Stream of Pee?

So aside from just relieving themselves, cicadas actually use it as a defense mechanism. They’ve been known to aim and fire their little jet-streams at anything that gets too close.

How to Stay Safe from Cicada Rain

Cicada season ran from mid-May to June, with our friends in Kentucky, Tennessee, and Georgia getting hit hardest by Brood XIX cicadas. Most of them are gone now, but you never know when a late-blooming little bugger might go full tub-thumpin’ and piss the night away - right on your head.

Is the Cicada Pee Harmful?

Getting pooped on by a bird is bad. Getting peed on by a cicada, worse, maybe? Though getting sprinkled by a cicada is gross, it won't hurt you. Mentalfloss states that cicada pee is commonly known as honeydew. "The sticky, sap-like substance is high in sugar, so wear a hat when you're walking through the great outdoors if you don't want the stuff on your hair or face."