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13 Ways to Tell Your Team Is Throwing the Big Game

Chicago Black Sox
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Professional sports can be a lucrative career, but for some, fame, prestige and an unending supply of money aren’t enough for them. But enough about Roger Clemens.

Everyone from high-priced gamblers to lowly bookies are constantly throwing money at players to get them to their bidding. Some of them must have been or (heaven forbid) could still be on the take. Here’s how to know if the team your rooting for are themselves rooting for the other team to win.

1. The pitcher secretly switches the baseball with a big red kickball.

2. The guy who made six beer and hot dog runs to and from his seat in the stands moved faster than the linebackers on the field.

3. Players don’t normally get taken out of the game for injuries they receive during the opening coin toss.

4. The quarterback looks just like the guy who put the cheese on your nachos.

5. Your star player has broken the record for the shortest hat trick in NHL history…in the other team’s goal.

6. The only doping the coach ordered for his linebackers were shots of sodium pentathol.

7. The defensive line has a secret bounty to take players out of the game by severely injuring them. Unfortunately, the bounties are against members of their own team.

8. Every player drives a gold plated Maserati and they don’t play for the New York Yankees.

9. The outfielder missed an easy fly because he was in  the midst of a particularly intense game of Angry Birds on his iPhone.

10. The team’s ethics coordinator is Pete Rose.

11. Your star player’s team lost the Super Bowl but he stills jumps in front of the camera and screams, “I’m going to Disney World!”

12. Your team is down by eight points in the fourth quarter, it’s third down and goal with two seconds left on the clock and they choose to kick a field goal.

13. Usually the team does their drunken celebrating AFTER winning the championship game.

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