It was Elizabeth Bishop who said “The art of living isn’t hard to master,” but what about moving on, or yet, starting fresh? As the turn of the year commences a new beginning, a fresh start, where we make promises to ourselves that this year, we will lose the weight, or quit smoking, or just try to become a better person. Over summer break, we work out all summer and try to find a new style, desperately sifting through pins and magazines with tips on how to be the new You. We thrive on the idea of do-overs.

As I am slowly finding myself becoming closer to thirty, I reflect on my twenties and think of how many times I have started fresh.  Whether it was in a relationship, a job, a home, there are handfuls of times where I had to pull myself up by the bootstraps and move forward. This is what I have learned in this process:

Tell yourself that you deserve this.

We live in a guilt stricken world where we are thought to be “selfish” if we want to actually take care of ourselves.  The truth is, you deserve all good things, no matter who you are. Do not let anyone make you think otherwise.

Tell yourself that you can do this.

You are your biggest support and your worst enemy all at once. Make sure that the support is stronger and you embrace it. Write yourself those little notes that give you pride in what you are doing. Stick it on the fridge, by your door, on your mirror, wherever you can put it and remind yourself that you can do this.

Surround yourself with positive people, weed out the negative.

If you are with someone who does not support you, you need to let them go while you are on this journey. Someone who is not willing to support you is not worth your time.

On the other hand, take the opportunity to embrace the friends and loved ones that are supporting you and make new ones, too. Some of the most wonderful people entered my life when I needed them the most.

Stop comparing yourself

This goes along with the whole You are your own worst enemy thing. Sure, it sucks when you look at Facebook and see people who already have what you want, but you have to just remember that your day will come, too.

Begin praising yourself as soon as possible.

Whatever it is, you are taking a step toward self improvement, and that is honorable. You should be proud of the fact that you will never stop changing and wanting to be the best person you can be. Celebrate yourself. Share your good news with friends, write it down in a journal, mark your accomplishments in your person history so you can look back and remember that you, little ol’ you, made a goal and accomplished it. You started fresh.

As soon as you are ready, lose the baggage.

The sooner I realized this, the easier each time I had to start fresh was. If it was a relationship, I began by storing anything I simply could not part with and eventually returning to it to throw it out. It may seem calloused, but the sooner you let go of the stuff, the sooner you get that next chance. If it is weight loss, lose the less-than-flattering clothes that you hide under. If you are moving jobs or homes, you may want to hang on to some of your old stuff, but the beauty of starting over is you get a clean slate, so get rid of that old clutter and baggage and make room for new!

Life is difficult, but it also luminous. Embrace and master the art of starting fresh, live for the all along, and , no matter what, your life will be beautiful.

 

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