Name: Woodland Steve

Location: Sherwood Forest (Trenton, NJ)

Occupation: Recently fired bus matron, current freelancer for several furry erotica sites.

Spends His Free Time: Whittling, shelter-building, filing lawsuits against Urban Outfitters for "stealing his T-shirt ideas."

Interests: Costume design, zoology, wilderness preparedness, Hamburger Helper (see below).

In His Spare Time: Rather not say.

Not Into: PETA.

Motto: "Talk to the hand!"

HEY, GUYS! This is not a real profile. It was made up for the sheer entertainment that comes from browsing through pictures of, well, hot messes. BTW! If you or someone you know should be one of our Hot Messes of the Day, send us a quick email at jackie [@] guyspeed.com.