Last Friday was my birthday. I spent my birthday caring for a sick child who barfed all over my bed. Extra special birthday gift number one! Then she gave me her illness. Extra special birthday gift number two!

Really no better way to let life slap you in the face and remind you that the childhood party is officially over than hanging your head over a commode knowing the reason behind this torture was NOT the aftermath of some big birthday blowout but rather a blowout from a much darker dimension.

This year, I was obviously too busy to partake in my birthday freebies, which sucks. But, that doesn't mean YOU shouldn't join in on the fun on YOUR birthday!

Here's some that I found in the tri-state. Now, I will warn you - most of them require that you sign up for their email club or download their app. And, I went ahead and did that for each one to make sure just for you, dear audience, that they are legit. So, I'm gonna get a hella bunch of junk mail. But you are worth it! (Shout out to DENNYS for just giving you the gift - no email club required.) And, if I missed any - email me and I'll add them to the list! (Promotions subject to change.)

American Eagle: Enjoy 15% off the ENTIRE month of your birthday.

Applebee’s: Join the Email Club for a special birthday dessert!

Banana Republic/Old Navy: Sign up for emails and receive a free gift.

Baskin-Robbins: Growing up my hands-down favorite from Baskin Robbins in Towne Square Mall was Cherries Jubilee! Enjoy a free cone and discount on birthday cake when you join their Birthday Club! MMM cake and ice cream.

Bonefish Grill: BFG Insiders get a free Bang Bang Shrimp appetizer or Jen’s Jamaican Coconut Pie for their birthday. I've already made plans to go out with the girls Friday night. Holla if you see me out.

Chilis: Get a free dessert on your birthday when you sign up for their rewards newsletter.

Dairy Queen: Get a free blizzard on your bday by joining the Blizzard Fan Club.

Denny’s: Again shout out to Denny's. You have to go in ON YOUR BIRTHDAY and present an ID but you'll get a free Grand Slam! YES!

Dunkin’ Donuts: You'll receive a free medium beverage on your bday if your download the DD Perks app.

Hooters: To get free food on your birthday download the the HootClub app. 

IHOP: Now here's one that I am not even mad about... If you sign up for their email club MyHop, you get a free meal on your birthday, another one for joining the club and then ANOTHER free meal on your MyHop one-year anniversary of joining.

Longhorn Steakhouse: Get a free dessert on your birthday and a free appetizer when you sign up for their rewards program.

Moe’s Southwest Grill: If you are more into birthday burritos and queso than cake, sign up for Moe's app and you'll get some homewreckin' goodness FO FREE!

O’Charley’s: O’Club members get a free treat on their birthday (PLEASE SAYS IT'S PIE! PLEASE SAYS IT'S PIE!) along with other freebies and discounts throughout the year.

Olive Garden: Now you can be nice on your bday and order the free appetizer to share at Olive Garden’s eClub or get a free dessert and eat it by yourself in front of everyone. In any event, you also have to get two adult entrées.

PaneraJoin MyPanera, and get a free sweet treat on your birthday. Who wouldn't want to wake up on the birthday and get a delicious FREE sweet treat?!

Red Lobster: I've been going to RL since I was a kid. It's always packed and always delicious! Join the Fresh Catch Club on the app and get a free birthday surprise! :D

Red Robin: My father-in-law's favorite birthday freebie is the free burger you get as a  Red Robin Royalty member! Choose from over 24 gourmet burgers (valid once during month of birthday). Say it with me, a FREE BURGER! YUMMM!

Sephora: Become a Beauty Insider and get a gift anytime during the month of your birthday.

Starbucks: All My Starbucks Rewards™ members get a free beverage or treat to celebrate their birthday, plus 15% off StarbucksStore.com. To qualify you must join 30 days before your birthday. They'll send you an email a few days before your birthday reminding you of your reward.

Ulta: Who doesn't love free gifts - Ulta will give you birthday surprises when you sign up!