Who hasn’t been seduced by the romance of being an international thief?

The men and women inhabiting this world, at least in the movies, are usually very charming and sophisticated. They travel to exotic locations, steal priceless art, diamonds, rubies, or just good old-fashioned cash.

Seems like the life, eh? That is, until you realize that most thieves out there just pilfer whatever they can get their hands on.

That’s what seems to have happened in Athens, Georgia. Local police have reported that 13 cases of toothpicks have somehow disappeared from Armond’s Manufacturing Company, Inc. over the last few weeks. Each case contained more than 200 toothpick packets, adding up to almost 400,000 toothpicks. Think of all of the poor people out there now who have to go without a toothpick, and simply leave that last bit of food stuck between their teeth.

What amazing tools do you imagine the thieves used for this daring caper? Bolt cutters, laser cutters, scaling ropes and climbing suction cups? Sorry to disappoint, but authorities believe this was probably an inside job, as there wasn’t any sign of forced entry.

And how much do you suppose these criminal masterminds will make from their haul on the ‘toothpick black market?’ These burglars just might walk away with almost $3,000, if they can find a buyer for 400,000 illegal toothpicks, that is. Perhaps there are a few mafia guys out there who own restaurants and are in need of some discounted toothpicks. All they have to do now is head to Athens, and the toothpick underworld.

[UPI]