Name: Comfy Carl

Location: That poor woman's lap.

Occupation: The world's first cold-blooded, colorblind camouflage designer.

Hobbies: Chutes n' Ladders tournaments, mouthbreathing, and taking up a very small amount of space on the subway.

6 Things He Can’t Live Without: Carl reported that he has everything he needs inside of his one-piece crochet jumpsuit. He declined our request for a list of the items inside, and quickly left the train.

Skills: Custom crochet. We don't recommend calling it knitting, he's got a bit of a temper.

His Motto: “Sweater? I hardly know her!"

HEY, GUYS! This is not a real profile. It was made up for the sheer entertainment that comes from browsing through pictures of, well, hot messes. BTW! If you or someone you know should be one of our Hot Messes of the Day, send us a quick email at jackie [@] guyspeed.com.