Contact Us

An Open Letter to Mother Nature [Regarding: 72 Degree Days in February]

This is what February looked like in the tri-state in 2015. -Photo: Connie Aud Morgan
This is what February looked like in the tri-state in 2015. As much as I hate to say it, this is what all Februarys in the tri-state should look like.  -Photo: Connie Aud Morgan

Dear Mother Nature,

Seventy-two degrees? Were you aware that THIS IS FEBRUARY? I look at photos from… heck, even last year, and there was ice everywhere. Ice, snow, freezing temperatures – that is how February goes in these parts.

These flowers are blooming in my neighbor's yard. GO BACK UNDERGROUND YOU STUPID SHRUBBERY! -Photo: Jennifer Schenk
These flowers are blooming in my neighbor’s yard. GO BACK UNDERGROUND YOU STUPID SHRUBBERY! -Photo: Jennifer Schenk

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’d keep it at 100 degrees year-round if it was up to me. I LOVE warm, no, HOT weather. But, I feel like there’s a reason we are supposed to have consistently cold winters here in Illdianucky. For instance, flowers are all like, “Yay, it’s warm and sunny! Time to come out and play!” NO NO NO! You’re going to freeze to death, you fool!

And, wild animals are all like, “Yay, I’ll shed my winter coat since it’s a balmy 72 degrees!” NO NO NO! You’ll die of hypothermia when the weather changes and it’s -30 next week! Keep your clothes on!

And, finally, my sinuses are all like, “Dude, what is going on? This is madness. I’m going to get really angry now!” :(

Listen, Mom, these extreme changes aren’t healthy. And, I know it’s not your fault. It’s mine. It’s the gasoline I use in my car. It’s the trash I throw out. It’s the large amount of cows and pigs blowing gas into the atmosphere that I lovingly eat on a daily basis. It’s not you, Mother Nature, it’s me. And, I’m sorry. I’ll change. I’ll do better! I NEVER thought I’d say this, but please go back to cold weather in February. Please?!

i had better just shut up. This is what Maine looks like right now... Photo: Stephen Lenz
I had better just shut up. This is what Maine looks like right now… Beautiful but really flippin’ cold.  Photo: Stephen Lenz

 

Best of Newstalk 1280

Recommended For You

Best of the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to http://newstalk1280.com using your original account information.

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for Newstalk VIPs quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!

Sign up to have exclusive Newstalk VIPs contests, events, coupons, presales, and much more delivered to you for FREE.