Contact Us

11 Reasons Your Weight Loss Regimen Won’t Work — The Funnies

Weight loss

Weight loss is always on the minds of most Americans. Thanks to the unforgiving media, the ideal body weight is about 90 pounds and that person can promptly fall over at the gust of a single wind. This amount of pressure to be thin often drives people to great lengths to stay skinny.

We know that you want to lose that extra weight. You’ve planned out your work out regimen and you’re going to stick with it, but we don’t think your plan is going to work very well. Here are 10 reasons your weight loss regimen won’t work.

1. You follow an “all carb” diet.

2. Lifting the remote to change the channel doesn’t count as a workout.

3. You think hanging upside down for three hours a day will help you lose weight.

4. Marathon napping is not a form of exercise.

5. Drinking cayenne pepper mixed with water won’t help you lose water weight. It’ll only make your butthole hurt.

6. Going clubbing is not a form of cardio.

7. Farting continuously does not help you lose weight.

8. You think the term BMI stands for Buy More Ice.

9. After running for five whole minutes you lay down and pass out.

10. You pronounce gym “guy-um.”

11. You think gravy and mayonnaise are two food groups.

Best of Newstalk 1280

Recommended For You

Best of the Web

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to using your original account information.

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for Newstalk VIPs quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!

Sign up to have exclusive Newstalk VIPs contests, events, coupons, presales, and much more delivered to you for FREE.